April 29, 2011 by Chris French
I received this book free from booksneeze.com from Thomas Nelson Publishers in exchange for a review.
If you want to catch something you’ve got to chase it. Greg Wright works off this philosophy in his book. If you want to know your daughter you must pursue her with the intent of knowing her heart. He does this not only in daily life, but in something he calls Daddy Dates. He recognizes an interest one of his daughters has, let’s say books, and takes her to dinner and a bookstore.
His goal during dinner is to pick her brain and see how she thinks. One topic could be what kind of criteria she uses to pick friends. You don’t come right out and hit her with that question though. You ask non-threatening open- ended questions and give her your undivided attention. These dates are to make her feel special and show her how a man that loves her for who she is treats her. Who better to teach her about men than her father?
I really enjoyed this book. He’s very practical in it and very straightforward. He doesn’t claim to have it all figured out, but he does have several good ideas and a well thought out process for making your daughter into a woman. For instance, what do you talk about on these dates? You talk about her! These dates aren’t for you. The date is to make her feel special and to get to know her. He’s got several do’s and do not’s for Daddy Dates, such as do call her and formally ask her out, do bring her flowers, do open the car door for her, do tell her she looks beautiful. Some of the don’ts are don’t answer your cell phone (no matter who it is), don’t go somewhere you can’t talk, don’t go to places because you like those places (this date’s about her, not you).
Another do is do ask questions and do listen. You should be talking only about 20% of the time. Let her talk. Do have a general theme you want to explore during the date, like what kinds of boys she’s interested. You’re not really there to tell her to do or not to do something. You’re there, especially as they get older, to help them think thru their thought processes and draw out the pros and cons of any given situation.
A lot of the stuff he says is common sense, but I don’t see many dads putting this stuff into practice so I’d recommend the book. Don’t think one blog post will make you a better father. You’ve got to study your daughter daily: they change!