Open Rebuke > Secret Love

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August 13, 2013 by Chris French

Remember 6th grade? I do, mostly because we had this really awkward Valentine’s Day tradition of sending flowers and cards to our classmates. Most of these gifts were sent from secret loves. They weren’t ready to stick their neck out and face possible rejection yet so they stand in the shadows with hearts floating in their eyes when they look at you. Their love is hidden. While they may have a fairytale land with you as Prince Charming/the Princess none of that is going to play into reality.

If I love you I want the best for you. That means that sometimes I’m going to be uncomfortable because I don’t always like/benefit from what you need. It’s like a doctor not telling his patient that they have cancer because he doesn’t want to see the patient cry. The patient needs to know! There are some things he’s going to need to do because of what the doctor will tell him.

While secret love may have all the gushy feelings of actual love it doesn’t have any of the actions. The one who corrects us, even publicly, is helping us. The one who loves in secret isn’t doing anything helpful for the other person. Next time someone corrects you don’t become defensive, even if they have embarrassed you or criticized you incorrectly. Remember “open rebuke is better than secret love.” (Proverbs 27.5)

To learn how to criticize someone in the best way and how to take criticism so you grow from it read tomorrow’s post: So You Think You Can Criticize.


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