March 27, 2014 by Chris French
In Matthew 5.31 I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Jesus talked about divorce directly after he talked about lust. The two are almost always connected. If you didn’t read yesterday’s post on lust it might be a good primer for this post.
I’ve studied divorce enough to know that a person doesn’t make the decision to cheat on their spouse in one day. Like Casting Crowns sings in their song “Slow Fade” it’s one seemingly innocent compromise that leads to one less innocent that leads to “harmless” flirting that leads to adultery and it’s all carried along by lust. Slowly you fade out of your family’s lives, it’s not that they’ve forgotten you, but you’re pushing them to the background so you can get what you want. Lust is a nasty thing that makes us betray the ones we love the most.
Here is a post with some very interesting stats on divorce. Here are some I found particularly interesting:
- If your parents are happily married you’re 14% less likely to get divorced yourself
- Living together before marriage increases your chances of getting divorced by 40%
- If you attended college you’re 13% less likely to get divorced
Why do you think those last two are true? What would going to college or cohabitation have to do with your marriage? Could it be self-control? If you finished college you learned that there were times when you had to do something you didn’t really want to do so you could get your degree. You controlled yourself to get a reward. Think back to when you were dating. Did it take self-control to not sleep together? Of course! I may be wrong and I’m sure there are other things that go into making these two stats true, but I believe self-control plays a huge part in happy marriages.
Decide right now not to compromise that first time. When it comes up you’ve already dedicated yourself to your marriage. Even if you and your spouse are going thru a hard time and you’re hurting and lonely you make the decision to not allow your temporary emotions to rule your life.
There’s a reason God hates divorce (Malachi 2.16). It ruins and destroys everyone it touches. Don’t allow this evil a foothold in your relationship. If you’re on the other side of a divorce there is redemption to be found. God can turn even the pain and loneliness brought by this into a blessing for you (Romans 8.28-29).